Human Sayings

Insults Threats Brags Complaints Praise
You really think that you have advanced technology? Mm, what a fool! Our only goal is to beat you. And, of course, we will. Our colony's way ahead of yours, isn't it? There have been worse situations… although I just can't remember them…. Just let me say that I'm totally impressed.
That's all the bigger your colony is? Oh. Aren't you… embarrassed? Nice colony. It'll be fun driving over it. The fools who tried to cross us are either very sorry. Or very dead. I'm not upset. Okay, maybe I am just a little. We should've copied your strategies right from the start.
Your factories are obsolete. Just face that simple fact. We will take you out. Territory by territory. We'll win. Just trust me on that… okay lonesome? My options are down to either watching self-help seminars or old episodes of Lost in Space. It's individuals like you who make colonizing fun.
Oh, you seem so bad off. That's really, really terrible. You could stand a little reduction in ego, I think. Our forces must be pretty intimidating. Especially for you. Yes, yes, your colony is growing. Who can't see that? When all of this is over, how about you and me doin' some mountain climbing in Tibet?
What a blunderer. Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha…. The more buildings you make, the more buildings we'll have. Maybe there'll be a monument built for me in Central Park. It's an Earth thing. It's only a planet. I don't care. But wait, I do care. I do, I really, really do care! I would suspect you're pretty tickled with everything. At least, I would hope so.
Chicken. Cluck, cluck, cluck! In all honesty, the only real problem you have is me. Nothing can compare with good ol' Human perseverance. Nothing. They are all laughing at me on Earth. If I felt any more humbled by you, I'd resign and join the galactic shuffleboard tour.
Your colony is so… I mean why do you even bother? So who should we get rid of next… You? Hm, yes, I think so. Praise us. Oh, come on. Why not? What part of 'I'm losing horribly, leave me alone' don't you understand? Well, as successful as you've been, I bet you're not crabby.
I bet you were always the last kid picked. This planet will not be enslaved by your tyranny! Oh, are you feeling outmatched by our colony? Deal with it. Oh, Even raising taxes won't help us. Your strategy totally blows mine out of the nebula.
Just so you're aware of this… feeling depressed is often a natural emotion when one's losing. Our demands are simple. You leave. We stay. You want to know our secret? Hah. Too bad. Everything about your colony is so, so… Hey. Wanna switch colonies? No? Please? Now that's one well-managed colony.
Why did you even get out of bed this morning? Give us a territory. Or maybe even two. Aren't you tired of all that responsibility? I know this is personal, but when you see my army, don't your pants usually end up at the Laundromat? So much is going so, so wrong. If more colonies did as well as you… wow!
We have few worries and you're just not among them. Sorry. You'll soon learn just how awful Humans can be. I promise. There are so many new buildings in our colony. I'm still learning where they all are. We should show you who's boss. Oh wait, that's right, you've shown us. Ah. Let's share a glass of oooooomi sometime.
Don't bother attacking with those… whatever you call those… things… of yours. Oh, you will lose. There is no question about that. This wild planet is being tamed by human hands. We're losing. Okay? Happy? You've kicked some major butt.
You're careless, you insult everybody. We're just not impressed. Looks like it's time to really hurt you. We are marching to victory. So you just sit back and enjoy the parade! My colonists have lost faith in me. Efficient troops like yours can't come cheap.
Ah… is insanity a family trait? Human ingenuity will undermine all your stupid ploys. Our military can conquer you. Our production out does yours by a lot. So… your future is bleak. If we had researched just one more technology, I think we would have… oh who really knows. You're just a planet taming fiend!
You are so pathetic. Stop testing Human patience. OKAY! What can I say? When you build a big army, you'd better attack somebody with it. I really need a vacation. Don't mind me. I'm just taking down some notes for when we meet again.
Explain it to me again how you will defeat us. I missed some of the details. I know you've felt it. The pressure. The pressure from us. It's gonna get worse. Can't you just see tomorrow's headlines? 'Humans Win!' It's destiny. Book deals, movie tie-ins, the talk show circuit. It all could've been mine! Mine! Frankly, We're in awe.
Your factories couldn't produce a hammer. We could practice a little restraint. But, heck, why? Our colony will stay on this world for eons. Soon all that will be left of us are ruins and a few puddles of toxic waste. You've really turned your colony into a powerhouse.
I feel sorry for the parents who had to put up with you. Cross any of our borders and you'll regret the day you invented the wheel. If you knew the exact size of my resource stockpile… Hmm, you'd retire. If I lose, how will I deal with the bad press? You've made some pretty smooth moves.
Why did you start a colony in such a bad territory? The Humans can and will mess you up. Don't ask us how, we just can. Have you notice my military yet? Be very, very scared. Hey, we're the Humans! We're supposed to be the economic geniuses around here! You're one efficient hombre.
Oh-oh. Your poor management skills are showing. Our colonists will vacation in your old settlement. It's Human money, not gravity, that keeps this world spinning. Well. That stunk. I gotta admit you're good at this colonizing business.
You're losing. Blame yourself. Hey, I would. Don't show your face on my vidscreen again, cowboy! Success is a simple axiom. Perseverance plus luck equals capital. So much for soaking in the hot springs of Galda Prime.  
I don't want to say anything about your colony but-ha, ha, ha! What you don't know will hurt you. Look out your window. There should be another Human settlement on the horizon. It's not that big of a deal, just my entire LIFE'S WORK! That's all.  
It just figures that you would be a jerk. We have traveled too far, for too long, to be stopped by you! We are the Humans, roaming this planet for a little land and a whole ton of money. Punching bag here. What part of me do you want to hit next?  
Looks like you've botched up something else. Not that we're complaining. Be prepared. Update your resume. I've already sold the movie rights to my autobiography. I can tell I'm nearing a major life change. I think it's called… death.  
You're such a lemming! From now on, when we break something of yours, don't fix it. We'll just break it again. A stroll through my colony would take… oh let me see… gosh it would take several days.    
What's your problem?   Well, it's time for my daily visit to the vault. What a job, there's always so much money to count.    

Last Updated on 1/8/99
By The Barney_Killer